last_kallig | AU: Bar Crawl

Ibani surreptitiously hooks a foot around one of Ben's ankles.

"If you wanted to play toxin roulette, you should have let me know ahead of time," Ibani quips back, her grin wicked and mischievous. "Haven't played that since I was thirteen on Korriban."

She's not kidding about that being a thing, well, a training exercise/practice tool with fellow acolytes! Fun for the whole dormitory!

Ben presses his ankle against her foot, then bends his knee, drawing both feet back towards them, between their chairs and under the table, where he can rest his booted ankle against hers, remind hiself she's there with the occasional twist of pressure.

"For a lot of my life everything's been some sort of roulette," he answers. "Maybe I just miss the danger."

Reminding herself he's there is one of Ibani's motives in touching him so often, given his ~~frustrating~~ habit of hiding himself from the Force, her primary sense. She's glad to have his ankle rest against hers.

"That's entirely possible," Ibani replies, smiling wryly. "I'm sure I'll be able to find danger enough for both of us, circumstances being what they are." Ibani's plan to take the throne, reform the Empire, find a middle ground between Sith and Jedi, is going to be very dangerous indeed!

"If you're willing to be dragged along?" She starts cutting up the avian roast.

He reaches out as soon as the first piece is cut off, and grabs it deftly for himself.

"I hate to think what state your armour would get into if I wasn't around to protect you," he says.

Ibani grins at him when he grabs the first piece for himself.

She rolls her eyes at his comment about her armor, although she is amused. "It might languish in the repair shop for a while, certainly," she teases. "Might even get a few of my old scars back."

"I'm sure Ashaa would appreciate your efforts in keeping her work unmarred," she adds, winking. Even if he's only ever seen part of the 'work'.

The second piece, Ben offers to her between his fingers, leaning forward along the table. He raises an eyebrow as he does so.

"Now that's a name I don't think you've explained to me," he says.

Ibani takes the offered piece, her fingers brushing against his as she does so.

"Haven't I? Must be getting forgetful in my old age," Ibani replies. Or it happened during that long period where she didn't see him, when Obi-Wan Kenobi became Ben.

"I know I mentioned my ability to bind force ghosts, briefly, that I had to to take on Darth Thanaton." She smiles ruefully. " I found out that while binding one force ghost is safe, binding more than that is decidedly not. I'd bound four when it began tearing my mind and my body apart."

"Ashaa is the entity that rebuilt my body and altered my genetic pattern to allow it to take the strain. She was made by the same race that built the Foundry, an artificial intelligence, but as alive in the Force as you or I."

Another quirk of that eyebrow. He's heard of the possibility of AIs and droids that are alive in the Force, but they usually require an organic component obtained from elsewhere. That has never sat well with him.

But neither has the prospect of binding Force Ghosts, given his work on trying to revive the ability to become one himself.

And of course there's nothing to sense, just another smirk. "Then I suppose the galaxy owes her a great debt."

Ibani doesn't THINK Ashaa has organic components, but it seemed rather rude to ask.

"I expect that would depend on your point of view," Ibani replies, smiling wryly. "I am a monster, after all." Said casually, with the easy air of truth. Because as far as Ibani is concerned, it IS true.

"So is the Dathomiran Rancor, to many people," Ben returns, just as casual, spoken half into his drink as he takes a sip.

"They're some of the sweetest, most intelligent animals in the Galaxy."

He is not the slightest bit apologetic about the unflattering nature of that comparison.

"Are they?" Ibani asks, surprised. "I've never run into one. I'm guessing that you have?"

Ibani doesn't consider the comparison all that unflattering, really.

"I've seen a lot of the Galaxy," Ben says, which is absolutely true. "There's one on the same planet as me at the moment, but I haven't seen it. He misses his home, but loves his current companion, a dilemma I think many people can relate to."

"Yes, I expect so," Ibani replies, taking a drink. "I'm not sure anywhere has ever really felt like home to me, except the place where we first met."

"I have duties here, responsibilities, but much of my heart is elsewhere, with friends in other times and places."

"Home is rarely an actual place," Ben muses. "I've always found it easier to find in people."

People in his galaxy, however, rather than people from elsewhere.

He picks up anther piece of meat, regards it thoughtfully, then smiles.

"I suppose the real goal is to find it within the Force."

He pops the meat in his mouth on that thought.

Ibani ponders this while chewing a piece of meat herself. "But people are a part of the Force, so wouldn't finding it in people be finding it in the Force?"

It is an interesting question!

"Part of," Ben says. "Not all of. One of the reasons we warn against attachment is because when you focus your attention too much on one part, you miss so much more. It binds the Universe together, remember, not just the part you may currently be residing in."

He smirks, suddenly self-deprecating. "Listen to me, old hypocrite."

Ibani reaches out to cup his cheek, run her thumb along his jawline. "I've found I need attachment," she says, smiling softly. "To remain myself, anchors in the storm of existence. Duty kept me alive and mostly sane until I found Milliways, but it would not have been enough to get me this far, I would have shattered long ago."

"Hypocrite?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. Two can play the eyebrow game, Ben!

He covers her hand with his, presses it into his jaw, while hoping that it's still early enough that stubble hasn't started appearing, his mouth opening slightly to catch the side of her thumb against his lips.

"I've made many mistakes," he says after a moment's thought. "Let my judgement become clouded, walked too close to the Dark side on a lot of occasions. We all did, and that led to our downfall.

"I'm trying to find a clearer path now, but attachment to duty is still attachment, and if I make a mistake the Galaxy could be lost."

He lets her hand go, turning away in order to pick up another piece of meat, which he just looks at.

"He's my brother, and that still clouds everything. How do I know this is thhe right path?"

It is indeed early enough that stubble hasn't started yet, although Ibani would have forgotten that feeling entirely thanks to the sensation of Ben's lips against her thumb.

"You can not know for certain if any path is right," Ibani says quietly, leaning in close. "But the Dark side does not erase who the person was, whatever people might like to believe. Living in it too long can scar, wound, and twist, but it does not change a person so completely as that."

"I was lost in the Dark side, for a time, when my apprentices were murdered." Even now, their deaths hurt, an ache in the Force. "I tore the people who killed them apart with the Force, alive, and I don't know that I could have stopped myself from killing innocents in that time and that place, had there been any. It was love that brought me back, the love of my friends, them not losing hope."

Edited 2020-08-11 12:19 (UTC)

"And that's why I can never lose hope," Ben says, and his smile returns, warm and sure. He takes the piece of meat in his fingers and holds it up to her, offering it directly to her mouth.

"That there's a way back, and that I can help him find it."

It won't be Ben's love. But that's okay, it can be the love of someone much more worthy of it.

Her own smile warms as his does. She takes the offered piece of meat, lips brushing against his fingers as she does. She's not sure if that's by accident or by design on her part, and she can't quite suppress the flicker of desire in the Force that goes through her when she does it.

"You will," Ibani replies after she's chewed the morsel of meat. "And you have friends to support you in any way you need, including me."

"It's slow going," he says, but his smile isn't for that. "Finding that balance, becoming the person I should have been those years ago, learning what our entire Order has forgotten millenia ago."

He shakes his head, thinking back to howthe conversation started.

"Learning to love," he says, "without attachment."

He leans forward then, and if she lets him he'll kiss her softly on her own lips.

She realizes what he's been aiming toward right before he leans forward and feels very foolish for someone who's supposed to be so cunning.

"Let", hah! She's wanted to kiss him for YEARS. She'd feel embarrassed about not knowing what she's doing with kissing him back, but his soft kiss has prompted such a flood of love-desire-pleasure in her brain that she can't really manage embarrassed right now.

She's not being subtle in the Force right now either,love-desire-pleasure together in a rising tide. Her hands tangle in his hair, an unconscious attempt to keep him close, to encourage him to continue with what he's doing.

Ben stops before she's ready for him to, pulling back do his head presses against her hands.

His smile is warm, affectionate and amused that she'd have any embarrassment at all, but his words are soft, almost apologetic.

"Slow going," he repeats. "I have to learn everything again, get it right."

Ibani lets go of his hair when his head presses against her hands, moving her hands farther down, to his shoulders. She doesn't want him to feel trapped, restrained.

"i don't mind slow," Ibani manages after a few seconds. Her voice is warm, affectionate, soft and slightly breathy. She flushes with embarrassment. "I'm, well, I'm learning everything for the first time, here."

She knows that her lack of experience at her age is unusual, to say the least.

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